Demon Heart Read online

  Of course I did. There was no question about that. But I didn’t want to do it for the high council. If they hadn’t committed all these crimes the last five years, none of this would have happened.

  I realized too late that not only had I thought that, but I’d also spoken it aloud because Wade’s hands returned to my arms and he forced me to look into his eyes. The dashing blue eyes I couldn’t say no to.

  “Then let’s help them. But let’s not do it for the high council or the witch hunters. Let’s do it for them. Because they deserve it. They deserve to know who they are,” he said.

  “Hey, someone wrote new lines for you. Where did you find them?” I said, and he gave me a gentle punch on the shoulder.

  “Don’t mock me, all right. I just came to say hi and to let you know I’m going back to the force.”

  “Have you heard from Lloyd yet? How is the new director? Willing to listen?”

  When he’d told me he wanted to go back to the BLADE force, I’d thought he wanted to betray everything we’d gone through. But instead of letting me flip out, he’d simply kissed me and let all his emotions and thoughts on the subject rush into me to let me know he didn’t want to do any of that.

  “Gotta start from somewhere. Gotta stop all this senseless killing, don’t we?”

  “Good luck,” I said, and he leaned in for a kiss.

  “Good luck to you too. Find out more information. Then we’ll help,” he whispered in my ear and left, unlocking the door and letting the flock of witches rush into the store.

  Damn, I didn’t even get a chance to admire his ass as he’d left. I only had a limited time to enjoy it before he realized what a mistake he was making being with me.

  Two

  Wade

  “So let me get this straight. You have suspicions that the director of your division is…inhuman, and instead of reporting it to us, you decide to work with a witch?” the man in front of me said.

  His name was Leith Carter, and he ran the Edinburgh BLADE division. He was bald and carried a beer belly to rival any other beer belly on the planet, but he held himself like a true witch hunter. His eyes were dark and full of arrogance that I didn’t appreciate. We’d been grilled for days and still hadn’t come to a proper resolution. I would have thought revealing the true nature of Christian to the force would have given me and my brother Winston the leverage that we wanted. After all, we had revealed one of the biggest, longest scams in the history of the force.

  I didn’t know if Carter had ever met Christian, though I assumed he had, but Christian had fooled everyone, not just the hunters under his rule. I would have thought revealing Christian’s intentions, his lies, and everything he’d done during his service at the BLADE force would have been less of this and more of the drink and toast kind.

  It’s not that I expected a gold medal and a promotion, although those would have been nice. I didn’t even know if I wanted those anymore. After everything I’d witnessed, I didn’t know if I could go back to hunting down witches and killing them.

  No, I was sure, actually. I didn’t want to do that.

  I looked at Winston, who was sitting next to me staring into Carter’s eyes and not saying a word.

  “You have to understand, sir,” I said. “I thought the force had been compromised. I needed to have proof and to understand the depth of the scam. I didn’t just—“

  He didn’t let me finish. It’d been exactly how this meeting had been going for the last hour or so.

  “What you did was terrible,” he said. “Blades don’t work with witches. End of. Whether or not your director was a vampire, that’s not what we do.”

  “But, sir, spending time with witches has given me a great insight into their world. And I don’t believe they’re evil. I do believe Christian was making us kill out of incessant hunger. But not all witches are—“

  “Sacrilegious,” he hissed. He looked as if I’d insulted his mother, his father, and his entire extended family.

  I shouldn’t have been surprised. After all, if someone had told me a couple of weeks ago that I’d be working with and dating a witch, I’d have laughed in their face. I’d have thought they were messing with me. But things had changed. And I didn’t know if they could ever go back to what they were.

  “But, sir, we can’t continue killing senselessly. We need to change. Otherwise, we’re not any better than what we think witches are.”

  Those words were met with stares from both sides of the room.

  Carter’s eyes burned me, as did Winston’s. It was impossible to believe that only a week ago this had been Christian’s office. The bookcase was still full to the brim with books about angels and witches, and the desk still looked like it’d come out of the 1900s. Which, knowing who Christian had been, now made sense. The only thing that had changed had been the doors. Since the incident with Christian and that night, it felt like the force had implemented a transparency policy. Giving the vampire privacy had allowed him the leverage for years to do as he’d pleased. I didn’t know how a couple of glass panels made a difference if someone wanted to kill cruelly, but this was not my battle today. My battle was to ensure the force did what was right and stop committing murders in the name of God and his angels. Were angels even real anymore? I didn’t know. After everything that had happened, I wouldn’t have been surprised to find out they weren’t. However, if they were, I’d have been shocked if they approved of the crimes we’d committed against witches.

  “No, sir, not sacrilegious. Humane. Christian made us believe for years that he knew what was right and that he knew the word of the angels when, in reality, he had no fucking clue. We have to do what’s right. Right now, we’re no better than terrorists. Just because an individual is a witch doesn’t make them a danger to humanity,” I said.

  I didn’t know if it’d go anywhere. The guy had been on our case since he’d arrived two days ago and didn’t show any signs of letting go soon.

  “What’s wrong with you, Rawthorne? You’ve been the best in the field since you joined the force. What on earth could have happened in a few days to make you feel sorry for those sons of bitches?” Carter growled.

  He looked from Winston to me as if it wasn’t already obvious.

  “I met one.”

  “You met one,” he repeated and nodded along as if I’d admitted to the worst crime in human history. “I’ve read your reports. You seem to have gotten really close to the witch. But you see, Rawthorne, the reason why we don’t fraternize with witches is because they’re liars. They can manipulate the truth and twist it to get what they want, and what they want is to destroy us. And you…” He turned to Winston, and so did I. Winston looked at our replacement director but didn’t say anything.

  “And you?” he asked Winston.

  “And me what, sir?”

  “Why are you here? You’re not under investigation.”

  It was true. Winston was not under investigation. He hadn’t betrayed the force or worked with witches like I had. He’d just been under Christian’s control, like me, and had bonded for life with a raven familiar, not that Carter knew that.

  As much as Winston supported the decisions I’d made, and how could he not when they’d given us our freedom back, he still didn’t want to make his potential relationship with a half-witch, half-raven public knowledge. And from what I’d known, it wasn’t any of those descriptors that made him feel insecure. It was the male part of the equation that did.

  “That may be the case, sir, but I feel the same way as Wade. If last week’s events have shown me anything, it’s that there’s more than one side to a story, and I can’t in good faith continue doing my job if it’s destroying innocent lives.”

  I was proud of my little brother. He didn’t need to do any of this. He’d always been the aloof, do-what-I’m-told kind of guy, and he never questioned anything.

  But now, not only was he questioning, he was taking the right side of history. And how could he not? After everything that
had happened, he’d made a decision to remember everything the dhampir Christian had made us do, and he had to live with the consequences of his actions. Whether or not he’d any control over those actions was a different matter entirely. One that had been messing with his head.

  Thinking of all the terrible things I must have done for years that Christian had made me forget was a beast I hadn’t even begun to comprehend. Had he made me fall for Sarah just to take her away from me and destroy me? It was entirely possible after he’d erased everything Caleb and I had gone through the first time we’d met.

  I took comfort in knowing that at least my addiction to spell dust wasn’t real. I hadn’t had a craving for a spell since Caleb had liberated me. But everything else? Everything else was a complete mindfuck I didn’t have the strength to navigate.

  “That’s very disappointing to hear from you, Winston. I didn’t expect that. Has your brother brainwashed you already?” Carter asked, pushing his chair back and standing up to pace the room.

  “No!” Winston shouted. “No more brainwashing for me.”

  Carter paused for a moment and stared at Winston, his expression an unreadable stone-cold slab before he continued with his pacing.

  “I understand what you’ve gone through is difficult.” He looked at Winston and then me. “Both of you. I’m not discounting what the dhampir did to you, but you are Blades. Hunters. Witch hunters. Your duty is to serve and protect humans from their evil kind.”

  “I can’t do that in good conscience after all the lies and deception, sir. I simply can’t,” Winston said, and Carter’s pursed lips told me he didn’t like his answer.

  He came and stood behind his desk again, his fists supporting him over the surface, his knuckles red from the pressure of his upper body.

  “In that case, I’m afraid you are both dismissed from the force,” he said, and I couldn’t help but feel like a punch in the gut had been handed to me.

  It’s not that it hadn’t crossed my mind, and it wasn’t as if I was willing to stick around if the entire structure and alma mater wasn’t going to change, but it still felt like I’d failed. At what, I didn’t know, but the failure messed with my insides nonetheless.

  I’d been in the BLADE force since I was sixteen, training hard to become the best of the best. After Mom’s passing, it had been the only thing I could think of doing to take revenge on the witches I’d thought had cursed us and to find the one that had placed it on us. Being a hunter had been my entire life’s purpose. Until I met Caleb. Again.

  Then, everything had changed.

  Not only did I find out we’d been lied to, but we’d also had memories stolen from us, fabricated, and replaced with different ones. And I’d found out the truth before. I had been made to forget that time, but this time, no one could make me forget. And if the force wasn’t willing to change and do something about the slaughtering and senseless murder of witches, then I didn’t want to be part of it anyway.

  It’d just mean I’d have to work extra hard to protect the witches that the force went after, which had already dropped considerably now that the high council had stopped feeding them names of fledgling witches like they had done for Christian.

  “Fine,” I said and stood, turning on my heel ready to leave.

  “Great. Glad we’re in agreement,” Winston added and also stood.

  Before we got to the door, however, Carter spoke again.

  “Make sure you leave your swords with Bruner.”

  It shouldn’t have surprised me that we were being asked to submit our swords, but it did nonetheless. My blade had been mine since the very beginning. It was like an extension of my arm at this point.

  It was infused with blood magic, however, and it had fed Christian for far too many years. I’d taken countless lives in the name of that egotistical, perverted monster. That sword had served its purpose, regardless of how twisted it’d been.

  So why was I finding the idea of parting with it so hard? I should have ditched it the moment I’d found out the truth, yet I’d kept it. I hadn’t used it, so at least I wasn’t that bad, was I?

  “With pleasure,” Winston said and flung the door open, storming out.

  I turned to give Carter a last look as if to say goodbye to this office and my career and everything that had happened to me through it.

  Then, with a nod, I left too. It was time for a new chapter in my life.

  Three

  Caleb

  2 Weeks Later

  I didn’t know how many times I had to kick Graham out of the cafe for him to get the message, but I was starting to lose my patience with him and the people he worked for.

  I’d agreed to keep moving his spells, not for him or the high council, but for the witches that needed protection. So I’d been okay with the deliveries he “had to monitor.” Even if his presence was unnecessary, I’d allowed that—with boundaries, of course.

  What I didn’t tolerate was any more of this “you need to help us” bullshit that he was so well versed at. Sometimes I wondered if it was habit that made him come to me for help or if it was truly the high council asking for my aid.

  “One of these days, I’m going to punch him so hard, he’s going to go through the wall and not stop until he hits Chechnya,” Lorelai said as soon as we’d kicked him out.

  At least I had her on my side again. I’d managed to explain what’d happened and had promised to keep her in the loop. After all, I hadn’t been the one to murder innocent people for the sake of a bloody dhampir, so my forgiveness came easily.

  She still couldn’t see how or why I would ever want to be with Wade, and she made sure to mention it every day.

  “So, has your scumbag boyfriend found a job yet?” she asked when we sat down with a cup of coffee.

  It was a slow day at work and all the cleaning had been done as if by magic, so we could afford a few moments of normalcy, if you could call it that.

  “He’s not a scumbag, and no, he hasn’t. Can you blame him? All he’s ever done is kill people. It’s not exactly interview material.”

  “Kill witches, you mean.”

  I’d hoped she wouldn’t take notice of my word usage, but of course she had. Even though she was a familiar, she saw me and the witch community as family. Being orphaned from a very young age had been hard for her and finding her place in the world had been a challenge.

  I knew that from experience. But unlike me, she’d had the support of the coven who had shown her everything she needed to know about herself and more. She, like me, had lost her faith in the high council after what she’d found out, but the rest of the coven had nothing to do with that bullshit, and Lorelai would stick to our side for as long as she breathed.

  “I’m not having that argument again, El. It always ends up with spilled coffee and a broken mug, and you know how I feel about wasting good coffee. Also, don’t get me started on our crockery budget. We simply can’t afford to break any more shit.”

  She looked up, sighing and admitting defeat.

  “Fine,” she said. “What about the energy surges Graham wants you to look into?”

  I winced.

  “I’m not working for that asshole. I thought I was clear about that.”

  “I know, I know,” she was quick to add. “But you can’t tell me you’re not curious to look into it. It’s been three weeks since that night, and you’ve heard the horror stories.”

  The coven had been extremely busy trying to track the new witches down and help them tame their powers as well as teach them how to use them. And I’d be lying to Lorelai, and myself, if I said I didn’t care.

  I knew what it was like to feel helpless and desperate, not knowing where to turn or who to talk to and how to get answers to a million burning questions.

  “I can’t say I haven’t been curious, but I don’t want to work for them again, El. What they did was monstrous.”

  “Just because they did such an abominable thing doesn’t mean those new witches who are sc
ared and helpless need to suffer, does it?”

  Before I could respond, the door opened, and Hew walked in wearing his leather jacket and a look of worry.

  Saved by the raven. Thank the Goddess.

  “Hey, what are you doing here?” I asked and Hew gave me a hug. Hew was a hugger, and as much as I hated hugging anyone other than Wade, one simply couldn’t say no to Hew’s cuddles or he’d sulk for days.

  “I came to see you, of course, and to have one of Lorelai’s fabulous pumpkin soya lattes.”

  Lorelai beamed at Hew’s compliment, and she gave him a hug before she got started whipping up his coffee.

  “What’s up?” I asked and gestured for him to sit where Lorelai had previously occupied.

  Hew took his leather jacket off, revealing his large, dark biceps underneath, and sat down. I wouldn’t have thought a raven shifter would be buff considering how petite and light one had to be to fly, but here he was, buff nonetheless.

  “I met with one of my brothers, and he told me you’re investigating those ley line surges.”

  We’d hung out a lot since I’d got my memories back. The poor thing had been treated so badly by his raven brothers since he’d mated with Winston, it was heartbreaking. He’d already been the black sheep in the family considering he was only half-familiar, and bonding for life with a witch hunter had sealed the deal with his siblings. Not unlike me and the coven who had turned on me because I was with Wade.

  “Where the hell did he hear that?” I asked.

  Hew shrugged. “Chatter among the witches and familiars.”

  My fingers tightened into a fist, and Lorelai put down a cup of latte for Hew just in time before I spewed hate and vile.

  “Fucking Graham is probably spreading the rumor to get me to do it. But no, I’m not looking into it, as much as the high council wants me to.” I gritted my teeth.

  “Why not?” Hew asked.

  “Because he doesn’t want to do anything for those assholes even if it’d be helping out witches that don’t know how to use their power,” Lorelai answered his question with the snark she was known for.